one week down....

i made it through the first week of work. i know to most people that's not a big deal, but to me it's huge. i worked 53 hours in five days this week, plus a 40 minute drive each way. i get up at five am and get home around 7pm, in bed by nine thirty and then do it all over again. the week went pretty fast and i only had one meltdown. during the meltdown i wanted so badly to quit, to turn and walk out of the job. but i didn't. i remembered bali.

bali.

in three more weeks i will have money for the ticket. then the passport, then travel funds. and in eight weeks time i will be enrolled in massage therapy school.

does this indication of responsibility mean i'm growing up? scary. it's not half bad though.

how mundane this life is right now, nosing up on a grindstone and trying to get something done. and how ridiculous of me to fear being "normal" as though staving off my typical flaking insanities to accomplish something means i'm going to get a hummer and become a soccer mom. (who drives a tank?!?!?)

regardless. it's going to happen. and then i will feel proud of myself, an emotion that i've too little experience with thus far.

wish me luck.